If Operating Systems were Chickens

Win 95 Chicken: You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like .chicken.

Microsoft Chicken (TM): It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.

OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

Assembler Chicken: First it builds the road ...

C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.

VB Chicken: USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)

Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets)

Web Chicken: Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

Gopher Chicken: Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket !

Cray/SGI Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your course.

Lotus Chicken: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do !

Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.

Al Gore Chicken: Waiting for completion of NCI (Nation Chicken-crossing Infrastructure) and will cross as soon as it's finished, assuming he's re-elected and the Republicans don't gut the program.

COBOL Chicken:
0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
   IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
      PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
      VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
   ELSE
      GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

BeOS Chicken: Multiple chickens can cross faster than a single chicken can from another coop. (Except the Cray/SGI chicken, of course;-)...)

Copland Chicken: Keeps trying to cross the road, but continues to run back to the original side. Maybe it will cross sometime next year...

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