Top Ten New Feature Of Windows 97

10. Properties dialog box now includes Boardwalk and Pennsylvania Avenue.

9. Catchy "Resistance is futile; you will be assimilated" splash screen.

8. Odor files.

7. New 18-Hour Control Panel by Playtex.

6. Point-and-click interface replaced by innovative hunt-and-peck interface.

5. Free Tickle-Me-Bill-Gates doll with every purchase.

4. General Protection Fault demoted to Sergeant.

3. Start-up .wav file replaced with the "cha-ching" sound of a cash register.

2. Didn't bother taking the Mac icon off the start-up screen this time.

1. Bill Gates Wealth-O-Meter spinning furiously on the Taskbar.

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