Microsoft Management Qualification Test

There are eight (8) multiple choice questions. Read each question thoroughly. Place an "x" by the answer you feel is the most correct justified by the circumstances given. Be prepared to justify your decision.

YOU HAVE 4 MINUTES.

(DO NOT BEGIN UNTIL TOLD TO DO SO)

1. You have prepared a proposal for the Regional Director of Purchasing for Motor Corporation The success of this presentation will mean increasing your sales to his company by 200%. In the middle of your proposal the customer leans over to look at your report and spits in your coffee.

   You:
   A. Tell him you prefer your coffee black.
   B. Ask to have him checked out for any communicable diseases.
   C. Take a leak in his "Out" basket.
   

2. You are having lunch with a prospective major account talking about what could be your biggest sale of the year. During the conversation a blond walks into the restaurant and she is so stunning you draw your companion's attention to her and give a vivid description of what you would do if you had her alone in your motel. She walks over to your table and introduces herself as your client's daughter.

   Your next move is to:
   A. Ask for her hand in marriage.
   B. Pretend you've forgotten how to speak English.
   C. Repeat the conversation to the daughter and just hope for the best.
   

   3. You are making a sales presentation to a group of Corporate Executives with Stanley, Morgan & Solomon in the plushest office you've ever seen. The hot enchilada casserole and egg salad sandwich you had for lunch react, creating a severe pressure. Your sphincter loses its control and you break wind in a most convincing manner causing three water tumblers to shatter and a secretary to pass out.

   What you should do next is:
   A. Offer to come back next week when the smell has gone.
   B. Point out their Chief Executive and accuse him of the offense.
   C. Challenge anyone in the room to do better.
   

3. You are at a business lunch when you are suddenly overcome with an uncontrollable desire to pick your nose. Remembering this is a definitely a No-No.

   You:
   A. Pretend to wave to someone across the room and with fluid motion, bury your forefinger in your nostril up to the fourth joint.
   B. Get everyone drunk and organize a nose-picking contest offering a prize to the one who makes his nose bleed first.
   C. Drop your napkin on the floor and when you bend over to pick it up, blow your nose on your sock.
   

4. You've just spent the evening with the manager of International Computers Marketing who invited you to an all-night boilermaker drinking party. You get back to your room just in time to go to the hose training seminar. You stagger to the men's room and spend the next half hour vomiting. As you're washing up in the sink, The Hose Training Director walks up and blows his cigar in your face, and asks you to join him for drinks after school.

   You:
   A. Look him straight in the eye and launch one last convulsive torrent at the front of his Hart, Shaffner and Marx suit.
   B. Nail him right in the crotch, banking on the fact that he'll never recognize your green face.
   C. Grasp his hand and pump it till he pees his pants.
   

5. You are at a dinner with a O.E.M. and his wife, who looks like the regional runner-up of the Dolly Parton look-a-like contest. Halfway through dinner you feel a hand on your lap. If you are resourceful:

   You:
   A. Accidentally spill hot coffee in your lap.
   B. Slip a note to the waiter to have your customer paged and see if the hand goes away when he does.
   C. Excuse yourself and go to the men's room. If he follows, don't come out until you have a signed order.
   

6. You're on your way to see your best Value Added Reseller when your zipper breaks and you discover that you have forgotten to put on your undershorts that morning.

   You decide to:
   A. Call on the customer's secretary instead.
   B. Explain that you were trolling for queers.
   C. Buy a baggy raincoat and head for the school playground.
   

7. You've just returned from a trip to Green Bay, Wisconsin in January and tell your District Manager that nobody but whores and football players live there. He mentions that his wife is from Green Bay.

   You:
   A. Ask what position she played.
   B. Ask if she's still working the streets.
   C. Pretend your suffering amnesia and don't remember your own name.
   

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