If Restaurants Worked Like Microsoft

  Patron: Server!
  Server: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Server. 
  What seems to the the problem?

  Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
  Server: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

  Patron: No, it's still there.
  Server: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating 
  it with a fork instead.

  Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
  Server: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what 
  kind of bowl are you using?

  Patron: A SOUP bowl!
  Server: Hmmm, that should work.  Maybe it's a configuration 
  problem; how was the bowl set up?

  Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that got to 
  do with the fly in my soup?!
  Server: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed 
  the fly in your soup?

  Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
  Server: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of 
  the Day?

  Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??
  Server: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

  Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
  Server: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

  Patron: Fine.  Bring me the tomato soup and the check. I'm 
  running late now.
  [Server leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the 
  check.]

  Server: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
  Patron: This is potato soup.

  Server: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
  Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

  [Server leaves.]

  Patron: Server! There's a gnat in my soup!

  The check:

  Soup of the Day			$5.00
  Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day	$2.50
  Access to support			$1.00

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