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Things To Do During A DownloadAhhh, the lure of free software, the natural curiosity of the slightly unknown...seems we spend the majority of our waking online hours waiting for the dreaded DOWNLOAD. Might as well make use of the time. Of course, savvy users have already figured out it ain't hard to keep two platforms busy at once, kind of like the guy spinning multiple plates on sticks, the more the merrier - and busier! But the other 99% of us, relegated to one computer at a time, should consider the following things to do during a download to pass the time... Buff your mouse pad Make a list of other things to download Play a percussive beat on your thighs in time with your modem Count to 500 in "click" language Go outside and actually breathe fresh air (don't overdo!) Do a pushup for every blue bar on the progress meter 11% Done! Name the presidents Play "Dark Side Of the Moon" side one Relace your shoes Read every classified listing for "Programmers" Carefully clean your mouse rollers and track ball Hone your monitor's picture to ridiculous perfection 23% Done! Fill out all of your registration cards in triplicate Alphabetize your diskettes Alphabetize your CD-ROMs Re-alphabetize your diskettes and CD-ROMs together 32% Done! Cut your fingernails See how may other words you can make from "download" Make a sculpture out of your fingernail clippings Play "Dark Side Of the Moon" side two Time to windex that monitor again! 44% Done! Might as well balance the old checkbook Practice the "rubber pencil" routine Weed out the rolodex Buff the mouse pad -- oops, already did that! French braid (optional) 52% Done! "This would be a good time to register your software" (done that!) De-kid proof the butane lighter Solitaire Solitaire round 2 Solitaire round 3 (no cheating this time) Alright, just one beer 65% Done! Think of good domain names to pre-buy Peruse the Egghead mailer again 67% Done! Re-label file folders in all caps Penny rolls, penny rolls, penny rolls 73% Done! Color code your extra cables 78% Done! Find all celebrities that share your birthdate 83% Done! Nerf basketball to 100! 94% Done! 100 situps 98% Done! Get ready.... Connection Terminated - Start Over! Find a pistol...
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