Barium Enema & Tech Support


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Barium Enema & Tech Support

I had some weird abdominal pains a couple of weeks ago, and my doctor recommended a barium enema. Let me tell you, that's some kind of fun! You get to take a bunch of laxatives the day before to clean you out. When you arrive for the exam, you change into a gown that's open in the back. They put you up on the table and stick a tube up your ass. On the tube is a balloon that they inflate inside you to help you keep all the goodies in. Then they shoot in the barium, and pump air in to spread it around and make it coat the walls of your colon, a procedure which causes what they euphemistically call some discomfort. Finally, they shoot pictures for an hour or so, moving you around on the table into various uncomfortable positions while you try desperately not to blow barium all over the examining room.

So, I'm lying there on my stomach with this tube up my ass when I hear the doctor say, "There's your problem, sir. I'm seeing a lot of colonic spasms. Tell me, what kind of work do you do?"

I tell him I work for NoName's Internet Services, and I do tech support.

He says, "You work for NoName's?" His head appears, coming around from the other side of the fluoroscope. "Why is my email service so slow?"

Submitted on 5/1/97 to alt.tech-support.recovery by anonymous (per request)

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