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How incest can ruin your work day
This morning I came in to the office to find a new employee sitting on
the stairs. It was all good. I started showing him around and talking
policy with him while we waited for the first call. And what a call it
was. He listened in on the call, and I'm very impressed that he's not fled.
Like ta hear it? Here it go:
Me: Hello, (isp). This is Jeff [0] speaking, how can I help you?
Luser: I can't log on. I've been trying since 7:30, but I had to wait
till 9 to call because that's when you open. [1]
Me: Ok, what seems to be the problem.
Luser: (snip big long life story which finally boils down to the fact
that she is a moron and needs a good larting.*)
Me: Ok, I think I see your problem.
Luser: (starts in on 5 minute monologue about how she's really
frustrated. [2] the whole time she's talking, she's getting louder
and more aggitated.)
Me: Ok, I understand this, Ma'am, but I think I have the
answer for you.
Luser: (Interupts me to yell at her cat.)
Me: sigh... Ok, right click on the blahblah icon and click on
'delete'.
Luser: Wait. Do you know what you're talking about? My dad set this
up, he's a computer consultant [3] and he knows what he is doing. I
don't think you know what you're doing.
Me: [dream] Why don't you call your father, the god then, if you think
I'm a moron for finding all the crap your dad did to your system and
ruining your little mydaddyisthebestestdaddyintheworld happy land
mentality. [/dream] Ma'am, I know how to solve your problem.
Luser: Yeah, well, we'll see about that.
I check with her to make sure she's not on a LAN and doesn't use
another ISP, then take her through the network control panel,
deleting all the extra crap her father put in there and configuring
what she needs to work properly, instead of with her father's
fantasy isp from neverneverland.
Luser: Wait, if I delete this, am I going to be able to send my dad
files still? Our computers are connected and we send each other
files.
Me: [confusion] [4] Umm... I asked if you were on a LAN and you said
no, how are you doing this?
Luser: Through email!! I told you! You don't know what you're talking
about!
I sit in disbelief, contemplate telling her to wait until she can
talk with me politely and hanging up on her, but I take it like the
Bob** I am.
Me: Ma'am, we just did the last thing we had to, why don't you
restart it and try? Bye-bye now. Click.
She's yet to call back. I bet she threw her pooter in the backseat and
drove to NYC so daddy-dear could lend her a hand.
Inbreeding rears it's ugly head again, folks!
--------
[0] I might be lieing about this. I'm not sure...
[1] We lie about that all the time. We really open at 8, but we tell
the lusers 9. Cackle
[2] Like we couldn't guess that.
[3] Yeah, we all know how god-like and wise they are.
Only a god would, in his infinite wisdom, see the need to create a
second DUN connection called 'Internet' when our software sets up one
perfectly fine under our name, and then leave ours there to further
complicate the matter when his daughter screws it up and has to call
TS.
[4] Her father is based about a 6 hours drive from where she was calling
from. That's one hell of a lot of ethernet cable.
-------
* Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool
** Technical Support Person
Submitted on 4/27/97 to alt.tech-support.recovery by [email protected] (JeffBob)
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