Humor me...Mumble, mumble.

Tech: Tech support may I help you?
Customer: Yes. My video card isn't working properly and windows won't come up.
Tech: Let's reset the standard VGA and see if it works there.
Customer: I've already done that. It don't work.
Tech: Humor me. I have to check it.
Customer: Mumble, mumble.
Tech: Gives customer step by step instructions to change driver to VGA Brings windows up. Everything works.
Customer: Mumble, mumble.
Tech: Now, let's reinstall your video drivers for the card.
Customer: Can't do that. I've already tried but it doesn't help.
Tech: We need to try to reinstall the drivers.
Customer: Mumble, mumble...No.
Tech: The only other thing I can suggest at this point, sir, is that you get on our web page or call our BBS, pick up a current set of drivers and install them.
Customer: You have to send them to me.
Tech: Sir, do you have a modem?
Customer: Yes.
Tech: I cannot send them to you.
Customer: You're tech support you have to help me.
Tech: Yes sir, I'm tech support. Currently, I've given you several options and each of them you've refused to try. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to call us back when you really are ready for someone to help you. There is nothing I can do for you at this point.

Call Ended - Two calls later same tech...same customer.

Tech: Tech support, may I help you?
Customer: You're the asshole I just talked to aren't you?
Tech: Yes sir.
Customer: What's the matter with you, are you fucking crazy, what kind of customer service are you providing.
Tech: Sorry sir, I can only work with what I have to work with. As for crazy, my psychiatrist says that I'm over the worst of it. I still take my prozac every day, as well as the tarazadon, which by the way is the same medication the unibomber was taking. May I have your home address for my records?
Customer: CLICK...dial tone.

Another tech about 2 hours later, same customer.

Tech: Tech support, may I help you?
Customer: I've called in three times this morning, you have a tech named xxxx. What's his problem this morning?
Tech: Nothing that I know of. He's been polishing his 9mm ever since I walked in about an hour ago. Can I help you with something?
Customer: My video card is not working right.
Tech: Lets set you to VGA and go from there.
Customer: No.
Tech: Well, sir, I can only suggest at this point you send the card in for repair 'cause it's probably bad.
Customer: How long will it take to get it repaired?
Tech: Our current quote for returns is 60 days. Here's the phone number for our RMA department, thank you.

Submitted on May 29, 1997 to alt.tasteless.jokes by (Jim) [email protected]

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