Scan for Famous Viruses

PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS: Your system works fine, but it complains loudly about foreign software.

COLIN POWELL VIRUS: Makes its presence known, but doesn't do anything. Secretly, you wish it would.

HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS: Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a year later, in another directory.

O. J. SIMPSON VIRUS: You know it's guilty of trashing your system, but you just can't prove it.

BOB DOLE VIRUS: Could be virulent, but it's been around too long to be much of a threat.

STEVE FORBES VIRUS: All files are reported as the same size.

PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of an impending hard disk attack: Once if by LAN; twice if by C.

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never identifies itself as a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism."

ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits.

DAN QUAYLE VIRUS #2: Their is sumthing rong with your komputer, but ewe cant figyour outt watt!

GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PC's infected will lose 30 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).

TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, and the screen splits in half with the same message appearing on each side of the screen. The message says that the blame for the gridlock is caused by the other side.

AIRLINE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Boise.

FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.

OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Causes your printer to become a paper shredder.

SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you order new cables, power supply, and a set of shocks.

JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Your programs can never be found again.

KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.

STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before...

HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4500.

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