The Coming of Word 6.6.6

Word 6.6.6 Coming Soon! If you're unhappy with Word 6, be patient! A new version of Word 6 is in the works which should take the world by storm. New programmers have been hired - including the creative programmers of SATAN security software - to bring you Word 6.6.6, which you will like and love, even worship - or else. Packed with so many powerful new features and tools that it can boast of "power beyond anything in this world," the new program is expected to require 600 Mb of disk space and at least 66 Mb of RAM for optimum performance.

Though the software, currently code-named "The Beast," won't be available until just before the year 2000, Microsoft is already planning a unique customer service strategy. Registered users will receive a lifetime serial number for technical support and access to the Microsoft Global Network. This serial number will be microetched with painless laser surgery onto each user's forehead, barely visible to the human eye but easily scanned by computer. "Who could ever have predicted such a thing?" beamed the team manager in a recent interview. "A new computer world order will be upon us. We can hardly wait."

Highly placed sources in Microsoft say that the computer community should begin preparing now to ensure that their computers are optimized ahead of time. "Make the sacrifice now to be ready for the Beast, or you'll be left behind. The last thing we want is to have future customers feel that they've been burned."

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